The one thing that helps couples function better

These days, we’re bombarded with relationship advice wherever we turn. Online articles, magazines, what friends think, what our families say. However, there is one thing I have noticed that consistently helps couples who are struggling.

Here it is:

Start gearing your thinking towards the idea of functioning as a team, in the relationship or family set up.

This is that feeling that the other person has your back.

Unfortunately, this often gets a bit buried and lost at various stages in the couple life cycle.

I’m more tired than you

For example, when the first baby comes along, couples commonly get locked in a comparison game of who is more tired.

He is working longer hours to pay the bills as she isn’t working outside the home at the moment. She is up during the night with feeds or sick kids.

But instead of getting bogged down with the ‘Who is more tired today? competition’, it’s about reframing it to see how the couple can benefit together.

Ditch the scoreboard

So it’s less about the individual scoring points, and more about how the couple can win.

It can be a bit tricky initially, as it is easier – particularly when we are in an exhausted, defensive state – to point out the other’s faults and score a few points, but this only makes us feel better temporarily.

Playing on the same team

Instead, how about recognising you are both on the same team.

How can we both win, here, as we both matter…

Or even, do I need to take one for the team?

Try it, it works 🙂

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