Over the years, I have spoken to many women who have struggled emotionally after becoming a mother.
As a mum of two myself, I try to bring an honest, refreshing and humorous approach to mothering where I will help you to find a way that is “good enough” for you and aims to shift a lot of the “shoulds” mums tend to get bogged down with at this vulnerable time.
There is a huge adjustment in becoming a mum, not to mention the conflicting advice we are bombarded with on a daily basis about how to do it all. Combined with this, a lot of people are parenting in isolation for various reasons.
I am fascinated by what parenting brings up for us, a combination of the best and the worst!
I have also found myself working with women who are ambivalent about mothering - I decided to include this here as it crops up a lot in counselling - while some women feel a natural urge to have a baby, this is not the case for everyone.
This can get even more difficult due to pressure from family and friends, along with society assumptions that becoming a mother is a natural phenomenon that a woman “should” (those shoulds again!!) experience.
Counselling will help you to explore your concerns about mothering. You will be listened to with non-judgement and given a private, secure space to express your fears and doubts.
Blog articles on mothering:
Common thinking 'traps':
I don’t feel as happy as I should do after my baby has come along.
A lot of women find the mix of emotions they experience after giving birth and in the early days and months of having a baby, quite overwhelming and overpowering.
What’s wrong with me? - is it the baby blues, or Post Natal Depression, or what?
Although a birth is usually perceived in our society as a joyous and celebratory occasion, there are often a whole host of other emotions going on too. Often women talk to me about how they feel they “should” be reacting and when they don’t feel this way, this often make them question themselves. Doubt creeps in and women start to wonder if they are really suited to, or up for the job.
It is a huge adjustment.
Yes, there is a new beginning but there is also loss – perhaps loss of the person you once were, loss of freedom, loss of the relationship you had with your partner prior to the birth, loss of finances and more.
Or you may be doing it on your own, which presents its own set of challenges.
This is okay, and normal.
The more you embrace and accept these thoughts, the easier they will become to cope with. It is my experience that when mums become caught up in the ‘shoulds’ or a lot of the myths around mothering, that they experience difficulty.
This coupled with lack of sleep, the physical toll on your body and the pressure it often puts your relationship under, can take a toll on our mental health.
The best thing you can do…
Start talking; start sharing. I provide a safe, confidential space where you can discuss what’s on your mind. If you need to bring your baby, that’s fine. Or if a phone call suits you better, let me know.